Employee gets excluded from team lunch due to her dietary restrictions, she confronts manager, leading to tension in the office when team backs her up: ‘I thought I was being considerate’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 3, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Being the one person in the office who is even slightly different from everyone else is always a bummer. The office vibe can be all sunshine and rainbows until the minute people find out they have to make adjustments for one person, then this person will forever feel like they are ruining everything for everyone.

When it comes to food, this statement goes a long way. Having one person in the office who is either gluten-free, dairy-free, vegetarian, vegan, or anything similar is, for some reason, a tough pill to swallow for the rest of the employees. That can cause quite an awkward situation, even if that person does everything in their power not to be an issue, they would always feel like an issue.

To be fair, most offices handle these "restrictions" well. They either provide a substitute for whoever needs one, or simply settle on food that works for all so that everyone would be happy. However, some offices handle this all wrong, like the office in the story below, whose manager decided to simply not invite the one employee with dietary restrictions to the team lunch.

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  • With all the possibilities out there, not inviting someone to a team activity because of what they can or cannot eat seems like the worst possible option this team manager could pick. Thankfully, this manager was quickly put in their place and was confronted about their poor decision-making and, quite frankly, about their awful managerial skills. 

    Keep scrolling to read how that turned out.

  • Cheezburger Image 10488971520
    via Prostock-studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not inviting my coworker to a team lunch because of her dietary preferences?"

    I'm a 32yo project manager at a tech company, and we have a small, tight knit team. Every month, we go out for lunch to bond and unwind from the stress of
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • our projects. Last month, I organized a lunch at a local BBQ place, which is a favorite among most of the team. However, one of my coworkers, Priya, follows a
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • strict Jain diet, which means she doesn't eat meat, eggs, or root vegetables like onions, garlic, potatoes, etc. I thought she might feel uncomfortable at a BBQ
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • joint, so I didn't invite her, thinking I was being considerate. She mentioned that she could have joined us for the company and maybe
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • ordered a side salad or brought her own food. I hadn't considered that option, and I felt terrible for making her feel left out.
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • The situation has created a bit of tension in the team. Some colleagues think I was just trying to be thoughtful, while others believe I should have included Priya
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • regardless of the menu. I attempted to smooth things over by suggesting we have our next lunch at a place with more diverse options, but the awkwardness lingers.
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • I genuinely didn't mean to offend Priya or make her feel excluded. I was trying to avoid putting her in an uncomfortable situation, but now I realize I might
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • have fed up. I value our team dynamic and don't want this to create a rift. Was AITA for assuming she'd prefer not to come, and how can I make it right?
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • Cheezburger Image 10488972288
    via Antonio_Diaz

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • PomegranateZanzibar She feels excluded because you excluded her. All you had to do was ask her what she wanted.
    via PomegranateZanzibar
  • Mizz-Robinson YTA. If it's a work team anything and you exclude someone on purpose, that's going to cause tension. If you haven't already, try telling her you made a mistake and
    via Mizz-Robinson
  • you're sorry, and also that you know you brought tension to the team without ever meaning to. Then listen.
    via Mizz-Robinson
  • JaneTheSlayer OP You are right, I did apologise but tomorrow I will apologise again and tell her I've made a mistake, that I really didn't want to exclude her.
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • Away-Understanding34 YTA...if it's a team lunch, every member of the team needs to be invited. The choice is then on them to attend or not. It's not up to you to make that decision. Why don't you alternate with everyone's favorite places?
    via Away-Understanding34
  • chaingun_samurai we have a small, tight knit team. Priya doesn't count.
    via chaingun_samurai
  • Every month, we go out for lunch to bond and unwind from the stress of our projects. Last month, I organized a lunch at a local BBQ place, which is a favorite among most of the team. Priya doesn't count.
    via chaingun_samurai
  • jrm1102 ΥΤΑ - or make her feel excluded but, you excluded her. She can manage her own diet.
    via jrm1102
  • JaneTheSlayer OP Yes I see that now, by wanting to not hurt her, I did end up hurting her myself. You're right about her managing her own diet, just like you and she said she could've brought her own food. I understand now that I am the ah le in this situation.
    via JaneTheSlayer
  • SuccessfulAd4606 Yes, of course YTA, how is it possible you have a responsible job yet it never occurred to you that there would be menu items that would accommodate her?
    via SuccessfulAd4606
  • JaneTheSlayer OP There is very little that someone following a jain diet can order at a steakhouse if anything at all, but I should've left that decision to her and that's where I am the ah le by taking that decision away from her.
    via JaneTheSlayer

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boss aita diet workplace-stories employee manager job tales-from-the-workplace work reddit story ceo lunch workplace Reddit company team
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